My Dearest Series: Dear Yuuki
by MyVampireBunny
Summary: What Zero has to say about loving Yuuki. He knew he couldn't love her, and yet he couldn't stop his hear from feeling what if felt...


**Part of a series!!!!!**

The pen shook in his hand as the ink splattered all over the blank paper. He growled with frustration and threw the pen across the room. Why was something that seemed so simple so hard? There were so many things that needed to be said, all of them slowly eating away at what was inside. Whatever sanity was left was centered on _her_, the one who took the sanity away in the first place.

He stood up on shaky legs and slowly made his way over to bend down and pick up the pen. A sigh escaped his lips as he sat back down and ran his hand through his hair. He was going to do this, even if he ended up hurting himself even more in the end.

_Dear Yuuki,_

_I wish writing this was easier. I wish that I could just tell you everything that I've been keeping from you for all this time. But I feel that those things can never be spoken, or even written. I don't want to haunt you with worried thoughts that are pointless to think in the first place._

_But there is one thing I can no longer keep locked inside. This cruel game that your brother has played has put you and me in situations where I can no longer give my heart what it wants. We can't go back where we started, and yet…_

_I love you, Yuuki._

_I love you so much that my heart hurts knowing that you will never feel the same for me. You've reduced me to nothing but a weak being that can no longer fend for himself._

_Tell me that your okay. Tell me that you don't need me to protect you anymore. Tell me that I was just a pawn in a game that wasn't ever mine to win. Remind me of why I can't love you. Tell me that you can never come home…_

_I love you Yuuki…I love you so much…_

_Heal this breaking heart by telling me that we can never love each other. Remind me of the promise I made you. I have to kill you…I have to Yuuki, please understand that._

_I want to see your smile, I want to hold your hands in my own, I want to feel your lips pressed against mine, so tell me why I can't. _

_This world won't let me love you, and that only makes me love you more._

_Carry me in your heart, and know that you're with me even when you aren't. _

_Love,_

_Zero_

The pen clattered to the floor, ink flooding out of it from where Zero had snapped it in half. When he looked down, the scene reminded him so much of blood flooding from a lifeless body.

Standing up calmly, he prepared himself for the emotional tidal wave that was about to take over his body. He got violent rather then depressed when thoughts of Yuuki took over his mind, eating away sanity like a disease that couldn't be stopped. It was almost as if he was becoming the Level E he had thought he was to become.

But instead of throwing a fit and breaking whatever was in his way, he felt his body go limp as he fell to the ground, knees brought up to his chest. His body heaved with sobs as he began to remember the past. All of the stupid things he had said to Yuuki. Why couldn't he just let her by happy? Why did Kaname have to include him in that stupid plan of his?

He wiped at his eyes, hoping the tears would stop, only to have them fall more violently. His mistakes were coming back at him, beating him without mercy. He was in no condition to fight back this time.

His heart was spilled out in front of him, and even though there were ways to fix it, he knew that he couldn't. If he tried to get Yuuki back, there would be too much pain for everybody. Including her.

"I'll mail this, then?"

Zero's head snapped up at the familiar voice. Headmaster Cross was standing there, looking down at Zero as he held the letter in his hand.

"I'm tired of you being like this, Zero. You didn't turn out like we had suspected. Kaname-sama saved you, an action that altered destiny. So why won't you take advantage of that? Why won't you go get her and bring my baby girl home?"

Zero felt a sob rock his body as the question was asked. Anger boiled up in his stomach, and he couldn't stop himself from screaming, "BECAUSE SHE DOESN'T LOVE ME!"

"You're wrong, Zero." He looked down at the letter, not reading it but looking at the way it was written. Angrily, desperately. "I'll mail this. I want her home almost as bad as you do."

He turned around to walk out of the room, but stopped when he remembered something. "Don't forget Zero, its okay to break promises."

Zero froze, gasping at the Headmaster's words. Could he possibly of known about the promise?

**I hope you enjoyed it! Look out for the rest of the series please!!!!**


End file.
